Backlog Reports #3: Shadow Hearts

Back to the Playstation 2? Now this is more like it. Worry not, I'm more than certainly behind the times, and I'm still chugging along on my backlog. It's unfortunate that I haven't been able to update my page as often as I'd like, but if I spent all my time writing about video games, I'd never have time to play them! However, I do still like to write about my experiences, and will continue to do so. Today is my review of victim #3 from my backlog, Shadow Hearts!

Shadow Hearts was developed by Sacnoth, a company that developed the prequel "Koudelka", and a Neo Geo game called "Faselei!" The company itself was bought out after Koudelka by a company called Aruze who took control of the Shadow Hearts series and oversaw production of the sequels. Sacnoth itself was a company that was torn apart by internal quarreling and lack of originality, given that the two factions behind Koudelka either wanted to copy Resident Evil, or copy Squaresoft. The company was renamed Nautilus after being bought out, and was later dissolved in 2007.

Shadow Hearts was released on December 12th, 2001 (Merry Christmas, demon lovers!) in America by the company Midway, a company known for producing Pac-Man, Tron, and Mortal Kombat. It received mixed reviews upon its release, some saying the game lacked any sense of originality and others saying it was the most original piece of gaming they'd ever laid hands on. It is the 2nd game in the series, following after a little known game called "Koudelka" that was released for the Playstation system, and got weak reviews and little publicity.

--Story--

Shadow Hearts takes place in an alternate reality earth, where demons and monsters are accepted as relatively commonplace affair, magic works, and no one seems to mind.

The game starts off with some snapshots of an alleyway in Rouen, France. A traveling priest was murder in a brutal and gruesome way, and his daughter was captured by the Japanese Army, and is taken to a train to  China. While on the train, that same girl known as Alice Elliot is found out by her father's murderer, a man who goes by the name of Roger Bacon. Clearly not a normal human, Bacon takes a leisurely stroll through the train cars, calmly murdering everyone who dares to even get close to him, seemingly invisibly. He comes to the last guard before Alice, kills him, then starts to make his move inwards, until BAM. Our protagonist, a young Yuri Hyuga, kicks in the door of the train car making an impressive display of strength, to which Bacon seems to have little reaction. We see the cause of his invisible death come in the shape of a small baseball-sized demon who charges after Yuri, but gets caught and literally crushed in his hand. After some trade-offs of powerful display, Yuri and Bacon, who is carrying Alice, wind up on the top of the train car and have another fight. Yuri manages to wrest Alice from Bacon's grasp and jumps off from the train.

"Worth it? God, I hope so."

The story of the game is pretty strange, and not even just in its content, but in its execution. When Yuri and Alice meet, the only thing they have to go on is a strange voice in Yuri's head that gives him direction. Alice with nowhere else to go decides to follow along and try to find a place where she can get to safety. The game then takes no time at all to introduce the demons, and I say this now about the game: "Everything Is Demons." I mean that truly. The first village you come to is overrun by man-eater cat demons. Later, you meet up with the demon of a girl whose father was killed by demons. Then you're followed by a dog who turns out to be a demon who is ALSO being mind-controlled by the main antagonist of the first half of the game. The first half of the game is spent roaming around various areas of China, who is dealing with eastern demons, western demons, the Japanese, and fear of an evil mastermind. I'll tell you now, this first half of the game is very slow, and a little boring. Not a lot of interesting things happen, and the game feels like a bit of a grind due to the fact that low-level play is a touch difficult in this game.

That said, not all hope is lost. In Shadow Hearts, I saw something I have never seen before. I have never once seen a game redeem itself SO GREATLY in its second half. The story starts to really take off, the characters become interesting finally, the plot twists taste like plot twists, and the entire mood of the game is finally defined. If the game continued on like the first half, it would have made my "worst RPGs" list. As it now stands, it makes the "good fun RPGs" list.

8/10.

--Gameplay--

The game is a relatively basic turn-based JRPG. Each character has specific abilities and aptitudes, and each character corresponds to one of the 6 elements of the game: Air, Earth, Fire, Water, Light, Darkness. You control the character while moving around towns or dungeons, and you have your traditional random battle encounters, where the monsters seemingly come out of frickin nowhere. You can buy items, equip weapons, upgrade said weapons, even play an ongoing lottery. There is one thing however that you need to take note of:

"Say 'hello' to your new god."

All actions, be they attacks, spells, items, lottery, or opening a friggin door are decided by the Judgement Ring. It's a basic game of timing, where a needle spins around the ring, and you have to press a button once it gets within a colored field in order to execute the action. This goes for making an attack against an enemy, casting a spell either on the enemy or yourself, using a potion, or various event rings that are needed to progress the plot. Now, I appreciate the idea and it even becomes fun once in a while because there are a lot of effects that alter the ring, by making the needle spin faster, or making the hit area smaller, but I'm not sure I like that this is what everything in the game hinges on. I'm fortunate enough to have good reactions and good timing, but for those who aren't so lucky, I can only imagine that they were turned off of this game due to the frustration of Yuri being Judged as too uncoordinated to eat a berry and gain hit points.

"Oh god, finally! Forget the bird demon, Papa Homie needs a sandwich!"

Everyone has their own set of skills and focuses too, but the most interesting has to be Yuri.  Yuri is what is known in the world as a "Harmonixer," which is a person who is able to collect and contain the souls of demons, and assume their shape for a period of time, gaining their powers. A large part of the plot hinges on this. As a harmonixer, Yuri's mind is plagued by a lot of darkness, and his brain has formed a sort of graveyard where all of the souls rest, as well as where the malice of his slain enemies is collected. Throughout the game, You must take breaks from the main plot in order to release the malice of your enemies. Otherwise, the malice becomes too great and you are assaulted by a being more powerful than you could imagine.

All in all, the game's got a lot going for it in the gameplay department. With the exception of the Judgement Ring which may become a little cumbersome for those with less accurate timing. Other than that, everything works out well and the game's difficulty stays relatively balanced for the rest of the game. Definite kudos there.

9/10.

--Audio--

The sound is pretty good in this game. The music suffers a bit in the same way that the plot progression does. It's possible that I just don't care for far-eastern musical themes, but the music in the first half of the game is relatively weak, but becomes incredibly good once you break into the second half. The music was composed by Yoshitaka Hirota and Yasunori Mitsuda. Yasunori Mitsuda is no newbie to the craft, with such titles as Chrono Trigger, Xenogears, Xenosaga, and Legaia 2 under his belt. Hirota is a much lesser known name, having worked on titles like Faselei!, Sonic Shuffle, and Glory of Heracles. To be honest, with a giant like Mitsuda involved with the soundtrack, I expected something much much better. The first battle theme was very boring and even gets to the point of annoying after a while. I've always felt like a battle theme is something that needs to be amazing, because you're going to be hearing it a lot. The battle theme in part two makes up for it, but not entirely. That said, the ending theme to the game is amazing, and immediately went on my iPod.

Then there's the voice acting. Oh, the voice acting. Now, given that the game was released in 2001, Voice Acting in a Video Game was still a relatively new concept. It certainly wasn't being taken awfully seriously at the time. That said, there ARE a couple of decent talents here, but only a couple. A lot of it feels like the director had the Actor do a cold reading, but was recording and didn't tell them. The emotional seems come off as emotionless, and something almost unforgivable, the voices get drowned out by the action at times. There are scenes where I still have no friggin clue what Bacon was saying. For any of you who have already played the game (which is probably everyone except me), all I have to say is this: "SHLOOOP. SHLOOOP. SPLAT." There's also the unfortunate fact that a lot of the battle speech was left untranslated. This is most apparent in Alice and another character later on named Zhuzhen.

" 私もあなたのためにこれを翻訳する怠惰なよ！"

Overall, decent music, halfway decent voice acting.



7/10.

--Visuals--

You may look at some of these pictures posted and think that the characters look like resin dolls, or well-shaped plastic. This cannot really be denied, but keep in mind: for 2001, this was some extremely impressive work. Especially when you consider the standards of some of the other games back then. (Summoner? Are you kidding me?) So actually, I was very impressed. I was especially impressed early in the game. In the first hour or two, I had thought that the entire game was going to be in dark tones, tons of red and black, durr hurr so evil, and what not. I was happy when I got to Shanghai and entered a bright, sunny, bustling city. Now the game manages not to completely kill the mood with this. Remember, everything is demons. Shanghai is no exception. It's kind of nice too, when you expect your sunny happy town to be a safe zone, then BAM. Abominations. The visual effects are pretty nice in combat, you can tell they had a lot of good ideas and really wanted to see them given justice. The visuals team for the game really cared for what they were doing. 

"What's that? You wanted to sleep tonight? Whoospie-doodle!"

The light drawback here is that a lot of the coloring is TOO detailed for the engine they were working with. As such, a lot of detail gets lost, and for someone with as bad a vision as mine, that's kind of hard to handle. That said, the cutscenes are definitely a bowl full of eye candy. It's only a shame that there weren't more of them.

9/10.

--Overall--

I went into the game with pretty meh expectations. Any time there's a game whose biggest draw is "omg demons rawr", I just feel entirely apathetic to it. That said, I'm extremely glad that I picked this one up and played through it. It's a much better game than I was expected, and I'd definitely recommend it. On the downside, it is a little bit short, but there's some extra content you can do to kinda fill out the space. On the topic of that extra content, Shadow Hearts did bonus dungeons and things like that incredibly well. It added some non-essential stuff to the plot and the characters, gave a bit of a challenge, and also rewarded you really well.

It won't make it into my top 5, or even my top 10, but it's definitely a title worth checking out.

Total = 33/40 = B.

Backlog Reports #2 - Red Faction Guerilla

Two games in a row that were released within the past 5 years? I'm not doing a great job of living up to my namesake, am I?

Red Faction: Guerilla is the third installment in the Red Faction series. The game was released on June 2nd, 2009 in North America, and June 5th in Europe for the Xbox360 and Playstation 3, and it later went to the PC platform in mid-september. It utilizes the third-person action system, with the camera situated behind the game's protagonist. The game was published by THQ, and developed by Volition, Inc. Volition is known for released such titles as Summoner, Saints Row, FreeSpace 2, Descent, and the Red Faction Series. Red Faction Guerilla is their latest release, but they have two new titles lined up for 2011, both are further installments in the previous serial titles of Saints Row and Red Faction respectively. The game has sold over a million copies, and has received largely positive reviews from various game critics and game magazines.

--Story--

RF:G follows the story of Alec Mason, a mining engineer who has come to the Tharsis region of Mars to reunite with his brother Dan and begin a new life in a new world. The two get to work immediately by salvaging spare parts from abandoned complexes, which confused Alec at first. Dan then reveals that he's been working with a group called Red Faction to fight against the omnipresent Earth Defense Force (EDF), who have been keeping the denizens of Mars underfoot. Alec refuses his brother's request to fight with him, and states his wish to live a simple life. It's then that they are set upon by an EDF air team, and Dan is gunned down. Alec is taken by the EDF, but not seen as being worth the trouble. As he is about to be shot down himself, Red Faction operatives run in and save the day, and his life. From then on, Alec works with Red Faction to drive the EDF off of Mars, and restore liberty to its people.

The object of the game is to more or less, "stick it to the man." As Alec Mason, you sabotage the EDF's agendas, destroy their buildings, collapse their bridges, and basically ensure that they fail at every given opportunity. By doing this, you raise the morale of the people and wrest control from the evil EDF. Sadly, the storyline of the game is exactly that. It never evolves, there's no real plot twists, and nothing ever comes as a surprise. Even the moments that the game WANTS to be surprising fall flat, due to the lack of interest in your own characters that comes with a game that doesn't focus too much on its narrative.

"What do you mean, 'no one cares?'"

The game is relatively short if you ignore a lot of the side missions but even if you complete all of them, it doesn't add a whole lot to the plot. The narrative gets really akward about halfway through when an item called the Nanoforge is introduced. It's some manner of martian technology that utilizes nanomachines in a weaponized manner. There's a bit of mysticism involved in the retrieval of the item that is never revisited, however. The narrative, as a result, is stuck in a sort of limbo. It feels as if the game needed to be longer to cover everything, but there just wasn't enough content to fill the void. On a basic level the idea of the game is nice, but it desperately needed some expansion which it unfortunately did not receive.

6/10

--Gameplay--

One of the biggest draws and selling points of the game is how the world itself was programmed. Unlike previous Red Faction games, the terrain is not destructable. However, buildings, bridges, vehicles, and just about everything else is almost fully destructable. More than just being a feature, this becomes the main focus of the game. As Alec Mason, you target specific structures and outposts and proceed to damage them beyond repair, weakening the foothold of the EDF in a particular area, and raising the morale of the subjugated citizens of Mars. By using remote charges, projectile sawblades, rocket launchers, and nanomachine rifles, you take down structures the size of the golden gate bridge, the halls of congress, and any office building you could imagine. The end result? Satisfaction.

Cool Guys don't look at explosions. Or implosions.

Now it's not all willy-nilly destruction and happiness. You're being hounded on your every step by EDF squadrons who are tired of Alec Mason being in their bases, killing their doods. One of my favorite aspects of the EDF in this manner are how they absolutely swarm you at any given opportunity, and there's no sarcasm there at all. It makes you adopt guerilla tactics to some degree, to where you almost revere the ol' "hit and run." Going toe-to-toe with an entire squadron of EDF is surefire way to get yourself gibbed, even on the game's casual difficulty.

If there's one thing that prevents this section from getting a perfect score, it's the fact that Volition kinda put all of their eggs in one basket. The game focuses so heavily in the destruction of all things material, that it somehow manages to get slightly dull after a while. The game gets repetetive slightly early, and only once in a while do you get something new to toy around with, but even then the objective is the same. As well as being repetetive, there are also occasional dynamic events where your base will spot an enemy convoy, or they gather intelligence that someone is transporting important documents. While I enjoy dynamic events like this, they have a tendency of dumping them on you all at once, so you don't have time to accomplish any other goal in the game, should you choose to accept these dynamic missions.

9/10

--Audio--

Unfortunately, there's not an awful lot to say here. The upside to this game's audio development is that the sound effects are more than wonderful. Listening to a building crumble, fall, and splinter after you take a sledgehammer to its foundations is an extremely gratifying experience. The different weapons and automobiles and explosives all have unique effects, and all are both appropriate and pleasant.

There IS a soundtrack to the game, but you never really hear it. This is one of those rare games where music just doesn't matter in the least. The mood of the game is set by the narrative and the surroundings, leaving what little musical composition there is completely behind. The voice acting got some negative criticism as well, but I'm not entirely certain why. These guys aren't going to be getting awards any time soon, but I don't think the quality of it entered the realm of "bad."

Without more, it's pretty hard to fill out the section.

8/10

--Visuals--

The visuals are a real double-edged sword with Red Faction: Guerilla. On the one hand, you've got your explosion effects, the buildings crumbling, vehicles flying off of a cliff and bursting into flame in the chasm below, hell you've even got a bomb that is literally a localized singularity that picks apart structures from the inside, and subsequently blasts everything it was drawing in outwards in a great and powerful explosion. One of the neatest things to do in the game is plant your singularity, run like hell, turn around, and watch the magic happen.

Then on the other hand, you've got the terrain and the atmosphere. First the short, five word explanation: "Sure Is Orange In Here." I understand that the game takes place on Mars, and that even if it's terraformed, it's not going to be the green and blue that I'm used to back here on earth, but you can at least color your buildings to be something other than a shoddy rust color. The entire game is beset in tones of rust, orange, and gray. It makes for a pretty dull environment to look at. I mean, it's no wonder everything is getting blown up, people just want to see something different. As an unfortunate result, everything sort of melds into everything else and if it weren't for the mini-map feature, you'd never be able to find your way around Tharsis.

Spike-ball mech arms or spike-ball towers? You be the judge.

7/10

--Overall--

Red Faction: Guerilla proves to be a fun, destructively satisfying, and entertaining game to fill up your weekend, or to play throughout the week when the hustle and bustle of life subsides for a few hours. It resides somewhere on the positive side of average, but several key factors prevent it from being a truly great game. Still, I would certainly recommend it to anyone looking for something that's not too immersive, but can be run through in a week or so, and remains entertaining beyond the story mode because let me tell you: the Wrecking Crew multiplayer mode is an absolute blast. My favorite combination is the Rhino Pack and the Sledge Hammer. Give it a shot, and find the combination that works for you, and have fun with this one.

30/40 = C

Video Games = Art = Video Games

It's a debate that's neither as relevant or as serious as "Do video games cause violence?", and it has far fewer hilarious consequences due to the supreme court. Nevertheless, it is still an important thing to consider. Important that the work of the creators isn't belittled into something childish and forgetfully recreational, because it isn't. Video games require months of development on the mechanical side, as well as many sleepless nights from the people who drive the concept. Video Games still have that stigma of being something you only do between important things. For some, that's still true, but for an increasingly large number of people, VGs ARE the important things. If it was purely for my own entertainment, why the hell would I be spending time writing about it to the 3 or 4 people who actually care to listen?

Is it valid to accept Video Games as something more than just recreational entertainment? At the dawn of artistic creation, painting and sculpture and pottery were all base things that weren't necessary for survival, but were done anyways because humanity needed to find a way to entertain themselves. Not everyone accepted it as a means of survival or commerce. In the opinion of those people, you were just folding clay into something that can hold water and carving crude shapes in the side of it. As it progressed and evolved, it rapidly became more than just a hobby, it became a bona fide focus, and one of the greatest commodities in the world, as well as an extremely respected field, whether it was painting, sculpture, language, music, pottery, what have you. Video games are the new art for a modern age. Of course they're not necessary for survival, but much in the same way that pottery and painting weren't either, that's part of what makes them so great. As it has moved on and evolved, it has wound its way into millions of people's lives, created good relationships, kept us entertained, and spurred our imaginations to new heights, all things an art is supposed to do.

Film critic Roger Ebert once stated in a blog post that video games, in principal, can never be art. I don't want to spend much time on his statement because he's not what this post is about, but he's the clearest most noticed example of people who say that video games aren't an art form. Well, why not? Fantasy literature is universally recognized as an art form. Graphical composition and illustration is universally recognized as an art form. Musical composition, especially that which is used to complement a scene or enhance/define a mood is universally recognized as an art form. So when you combine the three into one cohesive project, at what point does it no longer become an art form? You have three major medium being carefully woven together to create something even greater than the sum of their parts, and that's somehow not an art form? It may not be one person doing all this, but even the greatest artists didn't work alone. Just like Da Vinci needed Canvas and an Easel, the game creators needs their developers to craft the software into a virtual platform, much like an easel, for him or her to paint their vision upon. The writer needs readers, like the game needs gamers, turning the page with each click of a button and each movement of the joystick. The musician needs an audience and I'm not alone in that I listen to more video game music independently than I do mainstream media. The art I so love to perpetuate has inspired me to write, to play, to read, and given the means, create my own rendition.

One more thing that may hold the genre back from being taken seriously,  is that it's still a young medium. A lot of us grew up playing it to entertain us, and maybe at first it wasn't ever meant to take on such an imposing presence in the market. It was something to put your child in front of while you went about and did your grown-up work. Maybe it's because we were conditioned to love them at a young age, but I know I still play games all of the time, but not because I'm conditioned to. If that was the case, I wouldn't review them, nor would I focus on the many aspects therein. When people hear about my biggest hobby and how much I put into it, their favorite response is "Get A Life." This is what Youtube Lets Player HCBailly has to say about it:

"Maybe it's a sign that I'm addicted to gaming, but I honestly don't know what I would do with my life without it. People often say to me, 'Get a life.' Doing what? What could be better than taking care of my health, working 1-2 days per week, and spending the rest of my time with my fiancee and gaming? I can't imagine my life being much better than this. What would normal people do? Go to bars and get drunk? Knock up their girlfriend and raise a family they can't afford? Or both? If that's what it means to 'get a life' then I don't want one. "

In a society that over-sexualizes everything and has a hard time enjoying things at face value, or permitting others to fully enjoy what they do, I think HCBailly really hits it home here. It's just what we like to do, and it's something we can fully immerse ourselves in, no different than how a musician gets lost in their music, or a writer gets lost in their own world, or an artist implants their true emotions into what they illustrate. Games aren't just for kids anymore. They're for anyone who would see and appreciate fine works and allow themselves to step into the wonderful worlds they provide. We don't need to stop playing them in order to become adults or be respected within the world.

As though it were a sign from the heavens that the powers that be approve of the creation we love so much, The Smithsonian in Washington D.C. has decided to open a new exhibit 360 days from the posting of this entry, entirely dedicated to the art of video games. The exhibit will cover 80 games throughout 5 eras, and will be categorized not only by age, but genre and system as well, which is just about the best way I could think to show this exhibit. If you think you know what should be there more than others, then you have a chance to give your opinion! The Smithsonian has selected 240 games to choose from and only 80 will make it, but your vote can influence what will and will not be shown at this exhibit. Follow this link: http://www.artofvideogames.org/ and let them know what you think.

I'm not going to be so foolish as to demand recognition immediately from those who are of the school of thought that video games could never be art. What I do ask is that those of you who DO believe that, keep in mind that the medium you're so used to were just as ostracized when they first came about. It's still a young creature, video games. I just ask you to give it an honest chance and open your mind to all of the wonderful things that they hold. Give them a shot before you throw them away.  After all, you can't say anything about anything without first immersing yourself into it.

Silverknight727: MIA

TinfoilSamurai272 here. Your blog author has disappeared, and hasn't been heard from for about a week. I looked all over the place, but couldn't find him anywhere. I did find this at his keyboard though.

--------------
MY BROTHERS HAVE ESCAPED YOU. YOU'RE TOO LATE HAHAHA

They see Mephisto
He hatin
Controlling his Durance as he wipes the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
All out of Mana
Still Waitin
But he's throwing lightning as he wipes the party.
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Shit he's gonna wipe the party

[Sorceress]
Council wants to put me on hold
Kick their ass and pop them into gold
Blizzard is a raining mess of cold
Anything they had will soon be sold
Stygian dolls die in an explosion,
Turns into high hit point erosion
Poison from them zombies cause corrosion,
Die again, it's a full death throe implosion
Got uniques, ghostlies, and champions
All the item drops are worthless mostly
Got a fireball, make the bad guys toasty
Frost Nova, little bastards follow me but slowly
Teleport all the way to the end of this
Down to level three just to magic farm this bitch
3 Blue and 2 Yellows magic items which
I'm gonna show Deckard Cain and make a free game to ditch
Durance of Hate, goin solo
Not bad for magic glass-cannon ho
Throw cold, gonna make his ass move slow
Corral him to the portal, nowhere to go
Lightning ball, wipes half my HP
Random-ass ghosts pop up and smack me
Didn't kill the council, now they back attack me
Gettin swarmed by every enemy I see, be back after I TP.

The Lord of Hatred
He laughin'
He's holdin the portal as he wipes the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Gotta get the Soulstone
Go Smashin'
Turn his essence into gems after he wipes the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Shit he's gonna wipe the party

[Paladin]
I been Zealin and Smitin, Might n Fanaticism cause my party's fightin
Gotta Charge to level three 'fore The Council sees this big ol' invasion ragin all up in their haven
Pally been sippin on that 'Juvenate and the mana pot cause he ain't Got none in his armor slot
Breakin 5 frames with a mace in your face
Motherfucka's keep rollin up, smashing every asshole that's in my space
I got a Schaeffer Mace in my right hand, Ravenfrost on my finger freezing yo ass
None of you fools are gonna last
Playin an overpowered class
Gotta get to Mephisto
Put up Holy Shield perfect chance to block block shots to the Pally I stop stop
Whack Whack hope ya'll ain't rockin fuckin stoneskin
Got so much strength I can flex, ain't got no need for Dex
Gonna cause a mash up and smash up and leave ya'll as bloody wrecks.
Keep a sword on switch, Gonna stab a bitch, kick your broken corpse, down into a ditch
Goin toe-to-toe with Immortal foes, that's the way that the Pally rolls.

The first Prime Evil
Got lightnin'
He throwin his magic as he wipes the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Diablo's brother
So frightenin'
Just like his two siblings he gon' wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Fuck he's gonna wipe the party

[Barbarian]
A fuckin whirlwind, bitch I'm gonna win
I'm the Immortal King and I be smashin in
Rockin a full on Leap Attack, a bonus stack wieldin a two-handed hammer 'bout as strong as sin
So they move around me tryin to sneak in back, they don't know about my 360 move
Raise my weapon and give a shout with a boom
Feel that gloom? That's the sound of doom
Straight outta Harrogath, show respect
Did a quest, Akara gave me a re-spec
Battle Orders, gotta give the shout
Party's gonna turn this fight to rout
And bein a Barb that I am I rage at them, swing and a slam killin their hellish doods
The Barb's a hoss, a total boss, you can't mess with this shit cause we're a stronger brood
I'mma shout at you then I'mma have to cruise, cause there's two more Evils that I gotta bruise
I aint got all day just to mess with you
Gonna throw your lightning, well fuck you too!
I got stupid resistances you must agree
You know that it's worthless to use that on me
I got more hit points than you've ever seen
Gonna slam my Immortal King's hammer through your motherfuckin spleen and cut scene.

Bump up Resistance
And Defense
Or else you'll be fucked and he gon' wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Why is he hatin?
No reason
His hate is enough for him to wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Oh no he's gonna wipe the party

The Sorc gets last hit
s'important.
Magic Find that fucker who just wiped the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
A Stone of Jordan
Who gets it?
While we all argue he gon' wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Guess he gonna wipe the party
Damn he's gonna wipe the party
-------------



Please check all trade boards to see if he's shown up there. If any of you find him in the Durance of Hate, please tell him that we love him, and we all want him to come back.

Backlog Reports #1 - Blue Dragon

Blissfully behind the times though I may be, Sometimes I do play a game that was made AFTER the 2000 break. I'm pretty selective about any current-gen games I get. I'll typically go for remakes or collections, sometimes I'll go for the new material, if it's interesting or engaging enough. This time, I went for something a little on the newer side. I went for an XBOX360 exclusive by Mistwalker and Artoon known as Blue Dragon.

The game was released in Japan in 2006, but we didn't see it here in the states until 2008. The game was developed by Mistwalker and Artoon. At the helm of production and storyboarding, was the legendary Hironobu Sakaguchi, creator and director of the Final Fantasy series. The art director is another name buried by accolades, Akira Toriyama, the man behind Chrono Trigger, the Dragon Ball Series and Dragon Warrior/Dragon Quest ( I see a trend). Also on the team in the sound department is Nobuo Uematsu, composer for nearly the entire Final Fantasy series, Chrono Trigger, and Lost Odyssey. The game also spawned a manga series, and 51 episodes of an anime series that was a non-sequitur with regards to the plot of the XBOX360 game.

--Story--

Blue Dragon follows the story of three young...children? Teenagers? It's hard to tell the age of the characters because of the way they're drawn, but all of the playable characters in the game except for one look to be about 8 years old. In any case, these kids are from the nowhere village of Talta, who is beset by a fog of purple clouds. When these clouds appear, a vicious Land Shark makes its way into this valley town and wreaks all kinds of havoc, breaking buildings, ramps, people, anything it can charge on through. The three kids, Shu, Jiro and Kluke, band together and give it their best shot to try and stop the land shark. With a net and a rusty sword. At what point did this seem like a good idea?

Hey, YOU drew the short straw. It's YOUR problem now.

Oh, right. They're 12. In any case, it doesn't go well, and the three young heroes get dragged into a dark cave, and summarily airlifted out, and into a ship they've never seen before that appears to be causing the purple clouds to appear. Within, the find a decrepit, purple old man who goes by the name of Nene. For no apparent reason, he's just been fucking with this village for years. Maybe he's bored. The group tries to fight him, but can't quite muster the mustard, so they are forced to flee from Nene's ship. As they run, they get surrounded by dozens of Nene's robot soldiers, until a disembodied female voice gives each of them some blue spheres and tells them to swallow them. Yeah, the main characters get their powers by chugging balls.

After doing so, the shadows of each character grow taller and taller and take a semi corporeal form, each one becoming a different animal, Dragon, Bull and Phoenix. With these new Shadows, the characters gain the power of magic, the power to fight, and a means with which to grow stronger and finally defeat Nene. The group charges forward, meeting new friends, joining up with new characters, and doing very RPG-Staple hero stuff.

The storyline itself is incredibly basic which is both a plus and a minus. While it's nothing special at all, it's something relatively comfortable that we've all seen before, and allows us to look at other aspects of the game. Like the characters! Except that the characters are dry, overdone, and confusing as hell with regards to how old they actually are. If I'm playing a kid, I want to play a kid, not a 35 year old in an 8 year old’s body. The story also takes a turn for the absolutely ridiculous right at the end of the game. Like it was WAITING for you to be okay with the game as a whole, and then drop a huge pile of suck right on top of what was already mediocre.

6/10

--Audio--

I'd really like to be able to say "UEMATSU DOES IT AGAIN!", but I can't. A lot of the game's soundtrack is fairly forgettable, some of it's annoying, and the recurring boss theme is an absolute catastrophe. This is a track called "Eternity" which features lyrics written by Uematsu himself, and sung by Ian Gillian, formerly of Black Sabbath and Deep Purple. The unfortunate thing about the song, both with the way it is written and with the way it is sung, it sounds like something else entirely.

Every. Goddamn. Boss.

That's not to say it's ALL bad, there are still a few diamonds in the rough, but it's not exactly worth sifting through the entire soundtrack to find them. That said, the SFX were actually well done. The robots sounded like robots, the punches sounded like punches, and for the most part they were all timed fairly well. However this is not exactly a glimmer of hope, so much as something that doesn't taste like shit amongst a pile of shit. I refer now to the voice acting. It's pretty bad. Granted, I'm probably a moron for playing the damn game in English, but is it so much to expect that they find somebody believable for these roles? I mean, there are plenty of VA's out there who can actually DO an 8 (12? 17? 4?) year old kid, that are looking for the work. Throw them a freakin bone, here! Where it may work in Japan for a woman to voice a young boy, it doesn't translate NEARLY so well here in the states! LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, MEGAMAN LEGENDS 2.

6/10

--Visuals--

Here's where the game really makes up some ground. Though I'm not what I consider to be graphically fixated when it comes to my vidya games,  I was extremely impressed with  what was coming through my screen. Akira Toriyama's character art can get a little bizarre at times, but it largely worked out for the better. The scenery was extraordinarily done, the graphical rendering of environments and character models was top notch, and the special effects were of a masterwork caliber.

Suck it, Avatar.

The one downside to all of these visual treats is that the 360's driver can't handle it as perfectly as one could hope, so it does cause a little bit of slowdown here and there. Because of this slowdown, sometimes cutscene transitions take a bit of time and are a little jumpy, sometimes killing the mood, but even then it's not so bad to deal with, because there's plenty enough there to kill the mood without the graphics getting involved. Overall, the visual team did a really good job with this one.

9/10

--Gameplay--

Another decent aspect of the game is the way everything plays out. Combat is done by upgrading your Shadows, which act in the same way as Job Classes from certain Final Fantasy games like Tactics, or FFV. Your shadow can switch between classes at will, gaining experience and unlocking new abilities within said class. The great use to leveling multiple classes is that all of the abilities you learn can be equipped to different classes, making it really easy to come up with different combinations, and playing any class any way you want. You can have an assassin base who specializes in stealing from as many people as possible, or an assassin who focuses in being able to hit any enemy from any point on the field. The only drawback here is that it makes the game really easy, as most of the classes get their best or final abilities really early in the progression.

"I CAN BE AN ASSASSIN TOO. LOOK HOW QUIET I AM."

Most of them max out abilities between levels 30 and 35, so leveling a class to 99 is only good for stat gains and achievements. By mid to late game, your party will basically be invincible, because the game doesn't really hold back on giving you any decent items. However, to alleviate this, there are two superbosses in the game that are fairly difficult. I still haven't beaten them, but that may be do to lack of want to spend time to build a strategy. One minor issue, is landing your inevitable airship. It's pretty damn hard to see where you are in relation to the ground on that thing. Overall, the game is rewarding to actually play through, if nothing else, from a mechanical standpoint.

9/10

--Overall/Final Thoughts--

If you're asking my opinion, and I assume you are by reading this whole mess, I tell you now that I wouldn't recommend this game to anyone. The plot doesn't really evolve in any good way, the characters are annoying as FUCK, and the bgm gets hard to listen to. The gameplay is entertaining, but it's not unlike anything else that you could find within a more rewarding game. I mean, if you want to play a game that uses a class system, and has a maniacal wizard trying to tear the world apart, I'd tell you to go play Final Fantasy V instead. It's not a terrible game, but it is on the lower end of mediocre. If you're really out of any other option, then I guess it's good enough to occupy your mind for a bit, but the payout just isn't worth the amount of time you're required to invest in it.

Hm...there's something else I'm missing though. There's something that's stopping me from telling people that the game isn't really bad, but I can't quite put my finger on it. There's one giant flaw in the game that detracts from anything good that might have been. Someone help me out here.

"The Devee Dance of Trivia! Is it me? Is it me?!"

OF COURSE IT'S FUCKING YOU. Jesus christ, in all the time I've been playing RPGs, I've sifted through legions of annoying ass characters and I've come out okay. This motherfucker right here takes the proverbial cake. I don't understand why Japan seems to think that this character archetype is a good idea. He's obnoxious, screams every god damn word, quick to get angry which makes him even MORE loud and annoying, and ever-fucking-present. There are maybe two cutscenes in the whole damn game that don't involve him, and they're the only two bearable cutscenes in said whole damn game. Anytime anything happens, he shows how he feels about it by performing a dance. "The Devee Dance of Friendship," or "The Devee Dance of Joy," or "The Devee Dance of Love." THEY ARE ALL THE SAME DANCE. Here's one for you. The Devee Dance of SHUT THE HELL UP. -5 points from the game, JUST FOR THIS ASSHOLE.

25/40 = D-

Top Ten #1: Most Awesome Moments in a Final Fantasy Game. Part 2. -SPOILERS-

#5 - Final Fantasy IV - The Giant of Babil

Let's visit Final Fantasy IV once more. A lot has happened between that moment and this one. This one takes place near the end of the game. Cecil and crew have traveled from town to town, city to city, been all around the world, the underworld, and even been to the home of a sleeping race of moon-folk named Lunarians. Many characters have joined his party, and many have left for various reasons, injury being the most common. All the while during their travels, they were chasing after 8 crystals that were rapidly being taken by a dark knight named Golbez, the man who replaced Cecil after he left Baron, and the man who was responsible for all of the events of the game so far. It wasn't until Cecil and company got to the moon that the Lunarian FuSoYa told them what the 8 crystals were going to be used for: To open a road from Cecil's planet to the moon, in order to transport a Robotic Giant to the surface of the world and destroy everything.

Think he saw us?

The scary thing? At the point you find out the plan, you have a bit of an Ozymandias moment. "I did it 35 minutes ago." By the time you get back to your planet from the moon, The Giant of Babil has arrived, and is beginning his monstrous rampage. The bad guy actually accomplished his goal, the angry death machine is loose and all appears to be going their way. As your group is flying in front of the Giant of Babil, they begin to remark on how hopeless the situation is.

Oh don't, worry. Sit tight, it's about to become awesome!

That is, until the entire world stands up and collectively screams "Hell No!"

"Goin' somewhere?"

The friends who you had to leave behind apparently saw this shit coming from miles away. The collective airship fleet of the overworld is seen flying in from the east, ready to bomb the fuck out of the giant. The fleet is led by a Prince of a demolished castle, and your aging airship mechanic, Cid. On top of that, You've got tanks coming in from the south side. King Giott, overseer of the Dwarves of the underworld has brought his entire military force to the upper layer of the world, and is accompanied by Sylphs who until this point were xenophobic and distrustful of non-magical sentient life. The Sylphs are joined by Kung-Fu master Yang, another party member who was presumed dead, but has returned to give the forces of the world a fighting chance. I don't know HOW they managed to drive Tanks out of the underworld, over mountains, and across the freaking ocean but you know what? I don't care. The combined assault force unleashes absolute hell upon this intruder upon their peace, with the exception of Cid's airship, who sidles up next to yours. He tells you to hop in, he'll drop you off at a spot close enough to get inside the Giant. Once within the Giant, one of the best dungeon bgm's begins to play, and Cecil and friends charge inside and find the CPU of the robot and summarily smash it. After some expository banter, the Giant crumbles, the world is saved, and the group decides they're not gonna stop there. They get back on the ship, return to the moon, and look for the asshole who started all of this. This is how "turning the tides" is done.

#4 - Final Fantasy VIII - The War of the Gardens

Now let's come back to Final Fantasy VIII. This is the last cool event before the game's plot takes a horrendous nose dive. When we last left our heroes, they had just succeeded their Practical Final Exam, and had been accepted as soldier mercenaries. Their first mission took them to Timber, a city under martial law where they were to assist a resistance faction known as the Timber Owls. From there, they get word that the President of Galbadia has appointed a new advisor, a Sorceress named Edea. This is apparently very bad news, as you are promptly recalled from your mission and given a new one: Assassinate the Sorceress.

At the end of the first disc, the plan to bump off the mage-lady is put into action and subsequently fails. The sniper's presence was noticed and the Sorceress blocked his bullet, so Squall charges in swinging his sword, and discovers his rival Seifer, who has turned on Garden and now serves by the Sorceress' side as her Knight. After a short combat, Edea gets pissed off, stabs Squall through the chest with an unfinished ice sculpture, and throws the group in jail. When he awakes in prison, he learns of plans by the Galbadian army to wipe out the Gardens of the world.

"Dibs on the girl's changing rooms!"

Obviously our intrepid heroes escape from the prison, and return to the Garden, which in a pinch just before getting blown apart by angry shark-missiles, turns mobile and uproots itself, dodging the majority of the blast. From there on, Balamb Garden becomes the token "boat" of the game, traveling around the world, reuniting with your friends. Eventually, you learn that the Galbadian Garden has learned how to go mobile as well, and you see their garden hanging around once in a while. Events lead the group to a small abandoned orphanage off the coast of a distant continent, where they all feel familiar memories emanating from. When they get there, they discover that they were all in the orphanage together at a young age, with the exception of Squall's love interest, and none of them were able to remember it. After some warm nostalgia, they're reminded that the Sorceress Edea was actually their matron at this orphanage. Oh noes!

Think it's a bit ridiculous? Well sit tight, it's about to become awesome!

The Galbadian Army doesn't give a shit about your past. When you exit the orphanage and re-enter your Garden, you see the Galbadian Garden sitting in the middle of a forest, staring at you like "bring it, bitch." Squall takes charge of the situation, however reluctantly, and prepares the soldiers and students of Balamb for a final confrontation with Galbadia Garden. Who do you imagine is going to be leading the opposing Garden force? You guess it, it's Seifer, Squall's old buddy.

"I love the smell of Firaga in the morning."

The battle begins like a sumo match, with the two gardens crashing into each other. Unlike a sumo match, these Gardens have the added perk of shaving off entire sections of the opponent. It's very clear from the onset that Galbadia has the upper hand. You've got legions of well-trained soldiers, paratroopers, hell you've even got troops coming in on rocket-propelled motorcycles. Whereas Balamb garden has a few Mercenaries, a handful of somewhat-competent students, and a mess of junior classmen. For the majority of the battle, Balamb is boarded by the enemy, and it becomes a hectic warzone that drags everyone into it. Your party splits up and runs to help with different tasks, such as shoring up defenses, defending the junior classmen, and providing general support. At one point, Squall's love interest Rinoa gets knocked off the edge of the Garden's quad area, and hangs on to a rock for dear life while everyone runs around frantically trying to find a way to save her. Squall leaves charge of the battle in the hands of his friends, and as he runs through the Garden, looking at the state of things, he realizes that this fight isn't going well in the slightest, and a change of strategy is needed.

The music cuts out and changes to something somewhat inspiring, and Squall jumps on the PA, giving an inspiring speech about how not all is lost, and though his soldiers may be tired, they're made of tougher stuff than that, and they can find the will within them to drive the enemy out of the Garden and win this fight. With this, Squall directs the forces of Balamb into a final desparate charge to fully combat the enemy.

I feel bad for that guy's motorcycle.

After that, Squall gets singled out by a soldier in a suit that acts as a glorified jetpack. He gets into a fistfight with the jerk, and eventually knocks him out of his own armor. He then uses the hover-armor to float over to Rinoa, who by this point has arms bigger than Hulk Hogan, and grabs her, flying to a safe location on the enemy's base, where they will now sneak in, and finish the job they were assigned to do by defeating the Sorceress. Not a bad sequence to end disc 2, eh?

#3 - Final Fantasy V - Apparently "Chuck Norris" is a Job Class

In Final Fantasy V, you play from the perspective of a young adventurer named Bartz (or Butz, if you play a certain localization), who travels the world with his faithful steed Boco the Chocobo. Bartz is adventuring along one day and spots a Meteor screaming towards the earth below. As it collides, he is filled with wonder and confusion, and promptly charges forth to investigate the fallen rock. When he gets there, he finds an old man who appears to have lost his memory, except to say that he warns Bartz about the danger that the 4 elemental crystals are in. Over time, you learn that these four crystals are the seal that binds the evil sorcerer Exdeath. Stupid name aside, this sorcerer is bad news, so Bartz teams up with Galuf, as well as a Princess and a Pirate in order to venture forth and protect the four crystals from destructions. The group is met with numerous failures as the crystals shatter before their very eyes on more than one occasion.

The upside to shattered crystals is that the crystal fragments are able to imbue a person with power, and each fragment is unique. This is how they explain the Job Class system that was seen in Final Fantasy III and later, Final Fantasy Tactics. Soon enough, Bartz and crew fail to save the 4th and final crystal from being destroyed, and the seal on Exdeath is released. Simultaneously, old man Galuf recalls his purpose and regains his memories. As it so turns out, he was actually one of the members of the party who had originally sealed Exdeath away to begin with, The Dawn Warriors. He also explains that there is an alternate parallel universe that he is originally from, and that he must return there now, as Exdeath is his problem and he'll deal with it in his own world. Galuf then leaves the party on their planet, jumps back in his meteor, and winds up warping back to his own world.

Of course the group isn't going to let the geriatric handle the world's problems by himself. There are other meteors in the world, so the group attempts to power one of them up and warp themselves to Galuf's world in order to give him a helping hand and finish off Exdeath once and for all! That's the plan, however it doesn't work out quite so romantically. The group succeeds in powering one of the meteors, but it doesn't transport them directly to Galuf's location like they would have hoped. Instead, it warps them smack in the middle of an isolated, and biologically devoid island with no way to contact anybody in the world.

Somebody get this man a volleyball.

The group wanders around the island for a while, fighting off hostile monsters, and are eventually knocked out by agents of Exdeath who knows of their exploits and almost-successes, and has them dragged to his castle and thrown into jail. Meanwhile, Galuf is getting ready to lead an assault on Exdeath's castle when his scouts tell him of a group of unconscious adventurers who were taken into Exdeath's castle. Upon getting their description, he immediately understands the danger his friends are in.

It's number 3! You know it's about to get awesome!

So what's an old soul to do? Send in a task force to retreive them? Nah. Bargain with Exdeath for their lives? Not a chance. What does Galuf do, you ask? He tells his army to sit the fuck down, he'll be right back. He jumps on top of his dragon, flies across a massive bridge, over enemy lines, and into the top layers of Exdeath's castle. The music changes to one of the best "Fuck Yeah" themes ever played, as Galuf jumps into the prison block area of Exdeath's castle, fighting his old ass way through dozens of Exdeath's minions, breaking down doors and kicking all kinds of ass. As he goes along, he grabs up all of his friends' gear. He eventually comes across Exdeath's general Gilgamesh.

"Walker, Texas RedMage."

Galuf pulls no punches, as he summarily embarasses Gilgamesh, takes the prison keys, and gets his friends out of there and drops their weapons in front of em, sayin "time to go to work." The four of them then make a daring escape from the castle, and begin the infamous Clash on the Big Bridge sequence, in which Galuf's army sees him returning from Exdeath's castle, so they launch an offensive at the same time in order to give Galuf and crew a safe place to return to. That's what I call a rescue.

#2 - Final Fantasy VII - Evil Corporation Finally Gets Judgement

Final Fantasy VII is the story of an Ex-SOLDIER named Cloud, who now takes jobs as a mercenary, as long as the pay is good. At the start of the game, he is working with an activist/terrorist group known as Avalanche, whose purpose is to overthrow the Technology/Energy company known as Shinra Inc., whose influence is far reaching, and who runs the majority of the world, as a monopoly that has grown too large to subdue anymore. Avalanche operates out of Midgar, the main city of the corporation, and their main targets are machines known as Mako Reactors, which draw upon the very life force of the planet and convert that force into energy that provides heat, power, electricity, etc.

Cloud and his friends eventually get way in over their heads, as the sector their are from gets crushed underfoot, essentially wiping out 1/8th of the city, all in the name of stopping Avalanche. The party isn't too happy with this, so they climb their way all the way to the top of Shinra Tower, and eventually they find that the president has been killed off by a figure from Cloud's past, the greatest SOLDIER of all time, Sephiroth. From that point on, the game is spent largely following Sephiroth around, but Shinra gets in your way time and time and time again. They Coerce locals, they wipe clean and rebuild Cloud's hometown and fill it with their own employees in order to hide what happened there, they take advantage of the hopes and dreams of industrious folk like Cid Highwind, and they contribute in unleashing terrible monsters known as WEAPON, which only awaken when the world is in absolute, imminent peril.

Near the start of disc 2, after WEAPON is awakened, the party is captured by Shinra Inc, and taken back to the town of Junon, where they will be given a public execution and blamed for literally all of the world's problems, all in an effort to make themselves look better.

"How DARE they put a Meteor the size of 50 moons in the sky?!"

The group obviously doesn't care for this, so they break out of the jail, steal an airship, and get the hell out. As the crew regroups and tries to decide what to do next about Sephiroth and the Meteor, the move all around the world, finding clues to help them, they even try to smash a rocketship loaded with magical explosives into the meteor. When they return from space however, all hell breaks loose.

"Man, I sure hope Midgar has funnel cake!"

WEAPON is pissed off, and the Diamond variety has decided to take a nice little vacation to Midgar. The problem here is that a WEAPON's vacation involves destruction, murder, and chaos. Essentially, he's gonna run and clear Midgar right off of the map. Thankfully, Shinra Inc. Has a solution to this problem. They've got a weapon of their own, though not a mobile, sentient one. Actually, Midgar has relocated their marvelous symbol of compensation, a colossal cannon, from their port town to their capital city. They then hooked it up to every major power generator in the city, and aimed it directly north, coincidentally, exactly where Diamond WEAPON is coming from. As they fire the cannon, it shears right through Weapon, sending him flying thousands of feet backwards and slumping to the ground, defeated (of course, not before he gets a few shots off and blows up the top of shinra tower.)

The group rests easy and takes a deep breath. That is, until they get word from their inside man that the Mako Cannon is about to fire again. This wouldn't be so big a problem, if the draw on the city's power supply wasn't so heavy, and the cannon's cooldown time wasn't a few hours. Turns out, the mad scientist who oversaw Sephiroth's genetic engineering has decided to once and for all end the problem he created by firing the cannon directly at the northern crater where Sephiroth sleeps. The shock from this blast would destroy the grand majority of Midgar and kill just about everyone inside city limits. Yet, as we go to the board room of Shinra Inc, only one of the executives wants to do anything to stop the cannon. The rest of them just don't care.

Sit tight and grab your parachutes, because it's about to get awesome!

The group decides collectively, "Alright Shinra, you know what? No. Fucking NO. Enough of your shit!" Midgar is presently under martial law, so nobody can get in or out of the city by foot. Solution? The group brings their airship about and flies right over the top of Midgar city and parachute their way in.

"Whoo, Bitches!"

The entire sequence of trying to get up to the Mako Cannon is my favorite part of the entire game. The music that plays is the music that played at the beginning of the game, during the mission to bomb one of the reactors. I find it cool that they bring the music back for when you're running up to screw with Shinra on a much bigger scale.

The group lands in sector 8 and immediately enters the sewer system, which leads them through to the train system which they follow all the way back to a familiar location from the beginning of the game. Along the way, everyone from Shinra Inc. you've ever encountered is there to try and stop you. The elite shadow agents The Turks, Weapons and Development Executives Heidegger and Scarlett, as well as all of the soldiers and machines that shinra has at its disposal. The most satisfying thing about this segment is being able to personally get revenge on the assholes responsible for all of your troubles throughout the game. At the end of the sequence, the group climbs up a long staircase and comes upon the mad scientist Hojo, who reveals that he could be considered Sephiroth's father, and claims its his job to finish him off. Hojo doesn't want you to foil his plan, so he takes advantage of all the weird experiments he's done to himself over the years and engages you in a long climactic battle to finish off the second disc. By the end, the people of midgar are saved, Shinra is finished, and only Sephiroth remains. 

#1 - Final Fantasy IX - Assault of the Silver Dragons

Final Fantasy IX is one of the more overlooked games in the series, but I find it to be one of the most rewarding. Throughout the events of the story, you will find a plethora of reference and homage to earlier games from the same series. It follows the story of a thief named Zidane, a bit of a ladykiller with a real lackadaisy attitude and a penchant for pushing peoples' buttons whenever he can find them. Throughout the game, it's hinted at that Zidane is trying to find out where he is originally from, as he does not know who his parents are, or where his homeland is. Eventually, he finds it in an alternate world known as Terra. Once there, he receives some long exposition that he was not born, but he was created. As well as the villain Kuja, who had been pulling all of the strings in all of the bad events up to this point in the game. He orchestrated a war on the Mist Continent, the murder of the Alexandrian Queen and her armies, the stealing of magical essence from one of the characters, as well as the near-complete Genocide of an entire race.

It is told to Zidane that he and Kuja were created for the same purpose, which is to incite war and destruction on the world of Gaia, in order to remove the souls of the people from their bodies, and circulate them over to Terra so that the genomes, Zidane's kind, can have souls of their own and be allowed to have a real life once more. Zidane had a bit of a Goku treatment from DBZ, in that his memory was lost at a very early age, and he instead grew attached to the people of the world. After a moment of desperation and loss, Zidane returns to his senses and bands together with his friends in an effort to defeat Garland, the mastermind behind the soul operation, and Kuja who had been gaining power in order to defeat Garland himself.

At the end of the third disc, we're treated to three consecutive boss fights against a silver dragon, Garland, and Kuja himself who returns to Terra and kicks Garland off of a cliff, killing him. After Kuja is defeated at last, he begins to question how this could have happened, typical bad guy speeches, so on and so forth. Suddenly, Garland's voice can be heard. Garland tells Kuja that even if he weren't defeated, he isn't long for this world. See, Kuja wasn't ever meant to have a long life. After accomplishing his mission, he would have fallen over dead, no longer of use. Confused and enraged by this, Kuja enters a sort of limit-break mode and completely destroys the Pandemonium dungeon, and sends Terra into a state of flux. The group narrowly escapes in Kuja's airship, and finds a way to return to Gaia. When they get back however, things are not looking so great. The world is covered in a thicker, more potent version of the same tension-raising Mist that the group had eradicated earlier in the game. Above the source of this mist is where the final area can be reached. All that can be seen is a swirling red, pink, and white sphere of energy that must be flown into.

Sit tight and put your tray table in its locked and upright position, it's about to get awesome!

However, as the group approaches, this happens:

Wait....is that....?

Shit.

If you thought fighting one silver dragon was bad, well here's an entire flock of them. Enjoy. Nevermind that your airship's only weapon is on the bottom of the ship, facing down. This is Final Fantasy, not Mario. You're not going to be able to get above every single enemy. The situation appears to be hopeless, and dire is too light a word. One of the dragons rears up to fire a blast of energy directly into the bridge of the airship when...

"So, we heard you had a dragon problem."

Hell yeah, the cavalry has arrived! In an homage to Final Fantasy IV, all of the allies you've made over the course of the game come in the save your ass and clear a path!

"Six vs. Six thousand? I like those odds."

The airforce of the industrial city of Lindblum, who you've helped out time and time again throughout the game, arrives just in time, blowing away hundreds of these silver dragons that seek to stop you from entering the final area, Memoria. The scene cuts to the pilots of the ships, all of them close friends to Zidane and crew, or important figures who they've helped in the past. As the fight rages on, a path gets cleared for Zidane's ship, but a flight of dragons catches wind of them and starts to follow behind them. It looks like they're about to catch up with the ship, until the Alexandrian airship blocks the way, t-boning all of the dragons against the hull of the ship, giving Zidane and crew a clear passage into Memoria. I mentioned the music in earlier entries, and this will be no exception. The theme that plays here is one of the best Uematsu has ever written, and I almost think he wrote this theme first, before the scene was finished. That's how perfect the entire scene is. You've just flown a ship past thousands of angry dragons, while your dozen good buddies had your back and blasted most of them into dust. That is a hell of a way to enter a final dungeon.That is awesome.